Living Proof: It Will Get Better

I don’t know about you, but TBYL Reviewer Carolyn has certainly sparked my interest with this review…

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Stella Gibney’s memoir, It Will Get Better (Allen and Unwin) is the story of a woman who has suffered more trauma and upheaval in her life than most, certainly more than many of characters I’ve read about. Through her lifelong habit of journaling, Stella Gibney has been able to come through the toughest of times and arrive at new beginnings with a positivity that I admired to the end.

It will get betterThe book starts when six year old Stella experiences the worst kind of trauma imaginable. A very naïve little girl suddenly has her innocence ripped away from her and this sets her on a course where she feels vulnerable and forever in a position of never being able to say no, especially to men. As a young girl, she witnesses terrible physical and emotional abuse from her alcoholic father towards her mother, as well as a series of strange encounters with her grandfather.

Gibney takes us through her life, detailing tumultuous teen years, marriage and motherhood, all occurring against the backdrop of frequent moves around New Zealand and Australia. She endures a lot yet remains upbeat about her life, all the way through the book.

“Although journaling didn’t change what was going on around me, it did highlight areas of my life that I needed to change, and if I was being completely honest with myself, then I would often see the ugly side of my behaviour that I needed to address.”

I was drawn to this book knowing that Gibney kept journals and used these to form the novel. I was a little surprised to see that she hasn’t used as many direct excerpts from her diaries as I thought she might. I wasn’t disappointed; when she does use actual diary entries they are honest and well written, but I did find myself wishing for more diary entries rather than the condensed version that this book is. I myself have been an avid journal-keeper over the years and just recently read the journals from my last two years of high school. This story really made me wonder how my story would come across if I were to condense all the emotions and events that happened to me over twenty years, from my journals? Personally I think this would be a very hard task, and to do so must take great skill. Because I found It Will Get Better a very easy read, I believe that Gibney has done this well.

Stella Gibney is the older sister to the well known actress Rebecca Gibney of “Packed to the Rafters” fame. Stella never talks too much about her sister’s success and only refers to her as a wonderful friend and support. She has two other sisters and a mother, all of whom are very supportive and even though this family experienced tough conditions when they were young, they remain a strong unit.

Most of the men in her life have been detrimental to her self-esteem yet she has given birth to three boys. Being a mother empowers her to be their friend and a role model and she shares with us in this book, the importance of teaching her boys to express themselves through writing rather than using violence and fear tactics. She includes letters and a song written by her sons and they express their love and respect for their Mum and her ability to overcome so much. It’s lovely to read.

It Will Get Better is a raw and honest account of a working class girl growing up in the 1960s and 70s in New Zealand. I admire the strength of Stella Gibney to stay so positive after so many confronting events, and her confidence to share these through her first novel. This book is quick to get into and does not take long to read. If you enjoy a memoir then I suggest you give this a go, it starts off with a bang, grabs you and then shows you how life can get better.

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You can find out more about Stella Gibney’s memoir, It Will Get Better here…